juz did a test on how happi i m wif mi life. n guess wat? dis wat dey sae. "Wan ying, you're happier than 38 percent of the other people who took Tickle's Happiness Test." its like, omg? 38?? but thinkin bout it, i realli is unhappi wif mi life. i min, im orayd contented wif all de (material) things i haf now, like i got shelter over mi head, proper clothes to wear n havin mi stomach filled everyday on de 3 meals. n im contented tt i haf a great family. but, whenever im in skool, i felt im not at all happi. i dunno y.. i juz cant help but havin tt gloomy feelin. i felt like im totally out of place. i cant even pick miself up to tok to de ppl in class. i juz kept actin zi bi. i oso dunno y. i felt like i've been locked up deadly inside of mi. i juz couldnt describe it. i juz feel so... lost. like im in a totally alien world all of de sudden.
mayb dis is juz mi. de vulnerable mi. de real zi bi mi. dis is wat im tryin to hide. but cant. even an idiot oso can tell tt im veri de zi bi in class. i cant stand it. i felt like i wanna haf an emotional breakdown anitime. wat happen to mi? y cant i b a happi cheerful teenager? y muz i drown miself in sorrow?
i think i need a break. i feel like burstin now. dis de first time i written so close to mi heart. so dun even think of lafin. it realli take mi alot of courage to write dis. to pour out mi true feelins i haf been hiding.
