i must be so stupid. i blurted out that im attached to mi mom last nite. she was forcing mi to tell her everything. but in the end she gave up. i didnt expect i will so stupidly blurt out to her. i planned to keep this relationship unknown from her forever. i dont want any unnecessary comments. right now the situation is in the middle of resolving anyway. in the end we just either break up or patch up. wont make any difference if i tell her everything.
time is running out. im not even sure if the situation will be resolved before reaching the time. i regretted not bringing up the issue earlier.
whose fault was it is not important right now. i just hoped very much things will go back to the happy days we used to have. but i not really expecting a good outcome. i know this situation had snowballed to almost to the limit where it cant be resolved anymore.
even if we really break up, i think i wont feel sad for our future we could have built but only for the past memories. maybe breaking up will be good. that way i wont get hurt anymore in the possible future. this could be mi selfish thinking. compared to the love lost i prefer not to get hurt again. maybe mi heart is too weak to overcome even more and harder obstacles laid out in the future. it is too weak to deal with the loneliness too. maybe his heart will get tired of loving me after being worn down with so much distance and obstacles too. i cant help being so pessimistic about our future. but this is wat usually happen to most couples. this is undeniably a cruel fact for couples separated by ns.
aside all these, having a glimmer of hope of patching up wont hurt right? i hope i will have the strength to keep going.
im still waiting. i wished it can hurry up, but this must take time.
